Well, suddenly i have some kind of motivation or something to take care of this blog which i have abandoned since the day i made it -_-;; This motivation came when i saw my friend's blog and i've got a feeling that i wanna do this too. Sooo, here i am, at 2.52 AM, sitting in front of my bro's laptop n writing this blog.
Today ( when i say today,i mean the day before ) wasnt such a good day. Since the time i opened my eyes in the morning i didnt feel so good. Im in a bad mood all day. I was angry at almost everyone! N in the night i got stressed. I had to drink 3 cups of caffeine to reduce my stress. What's the cause of this bad feeling? I want to know too.
First possibility: i've got so much to take care of, so lil time.
Maybe its all my own fault too, i wasted too much time. I remember my teacher, Ms. (or Mrs. i dunno) Endah, said that there are several things that will not come back or be repeated. The first one is age. You'll never be 17 again when you have passed it. Second, is time. Today is one day, and tomorrow is already another day, wont be the same day babe. I forgot about the rest or maybe she hadnt mentioned them yet. What i can learn from her explanation is, do your best everytime, everyday, so you wont regret anything you have done in the future. But its kinda hard for me to do, 'cause i have a lazy personality and i always think there's still tomorrow. I told myself not to regret my past but, realize it or not, i ended up regretting my too-relaxed attitude almost everytime. I tried to change it. Well, still trying. Havent got any luck with it though.
Second possibility: my cellphone's error.
Internet is my life. N so is my cellphone. So, everytime there's something not right about one of them, even the smallest thing, i get upset.
Third possibility: im just crazy.
This one sounds very true right now 'cause when i think about it, i find myself being oversensitive and just unreasonable. The fact that i have a boyfriend who i hope is my soulmate and my last love, doesnt help. Actually it makes me even worse in facing things. For example, when he didnt reply my messages or when we didnt meet for 10 days, i became so melancholy about everything. There's one time when he's so busy and didnt have much time for me, i got stress and i cried all night. I just couldnt control my tears. They just fell off without caring me want it or not. I didnt sleep that night eventhough i was really tired after my basketball practise. N tonight im likely doing the same thing, but this time it wasnt because of him.
Im so sick of myself that i even have no idea how he can love me that way. Its like i dont deserve his love. N i try to make him happy but i feel that i only become a burden for him or something. Sometimes it makes me frustrated.
Now, im supposed to be working on my Biology's task. N today ill have a Physics test. Man, im just a bad student.
Today i will have to do many things. This weeks gonna be busy. N he'll go. Oh God, please bless us.
