More than a half year have passed since we last saw each other..
More than 3 months since I last heard about you..
Girl, I'm missing you so badly..
I know life hasn't been being easy on you, and I tried, tried, and tried so many fucking times to understand and let go..
I'm done trying, like you're done trying so long ago..
Man, isn't this supposed to be as easy as breathing?
Remember that time when we were struggling to heal ourselves?
You made my shitty life bearable.
I could accept almost everything as long as you got my back, you know.
You made me holding on, 'cause when I saw you I just knew it would be okay.
You taught me how to survive those freaking attacks, to not give up..
When no one even knew, you just knew. Its like God sent you to save me..
Cant I save you too?
Weren't we stronger when we had each other?
I might not mean that much to you but you were, and still are, a special part of my life that I want to keep forever.
Remember that time when we spend a full day together? To share happiness with people passing by on the street.. To celebrate our accomplished project..
We had dinner with your mum n sis n I could almost forgot about my living hell..
Remember those times when you couldn't even see me?
I tried to be considerate but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt..
Honestly, all those times I seek you, it wasn't because I was worried about you or anything. I just wanted to be with you, cuz being around you felt so damn easy..
It's 3 months after I first wrote this. Still no news from you. Time flies, maybe because I'm working 5 days a week and almost have no free time even on weekends. Honestly girl, I'm starting to feel empty. Works, dating, family. Whom am I supposed to share my stories to now? I could only talk about everything with you. I'm praying praying n praying that one day you'll leave this behind and we can get back together again. I cant lie honey, I need you to be alive. Maybe this is one sided and stupid, oh silly me as always, but I'm wishing, more than anything, that you can have your life, despite everything. May God bless you n guide you through each day to find happiness. Amen.
