My Job Seeking Journey!! :D Part 1: Unilever & Astra Insurance

Heyy again!! :D
It's 3 months after my graduation and now I can proudly say that I have found (hopefully) the right one.

I made a promise to myself that I would write about this long, tiring, yet enriching journey of job seeking once I had found a place where I decided to 'settle' for a long time. So here it is. For the purpose of better understanding, since I want to share this with those Indonesian job seekers out there, I am going to use Indonesian language this time ;)

1. Unilever Future Leaders Program (UFLP) 2014

Gw daftar ini di akhir Maret 2014, masa2 masih sibuk penelitian dan rancang pabrik (TA gw). Hati2 ya kalian yang lagi semester 8 jangan skip buat daftar ini kl ngincer FMCG hahahaha.. Ini pengalaman pertama job seeking gw. Sangat amat berkesan, ga cuma karena prosesnya yang memang 'wuoh' tapi juga karena pengalaman yang gw dapet di sini berguna banget, bikin gw bener-bener ready for the next job seeking, bahkan lebih ready dari standard karena memang Unilever standardnya udah tinggi banget. Kl mau daftar, coba download FAQ UFLP yang ada di websitenya, itu cukup menjelaskan apa yang bakal lo hadepin. Prosesnya sebagai berikut:

   1. Online Resume Submittion
Di tahap ini, gw disuruh ngisi form online yang intinya adalah CV dan motivasi daftar UFLP. CV mah cincailahh ya sell yourself as convincing as possible. Yang PR adalah short essay yang harus gw bikin buat menunjukkan sejauh apa ketertarikan gw sama program ini dan pengalaman yang menunjukkan kompetensi gw. Siap-siap ditanya kya gini: "What attracted you to apply for the Unilever Future Leaders Program?" Jawabannya dalam bentuk essay, including business function apa yang mau dimasukin (misalnya kl buat anak teknik ya supply chain, ada juga sales, marketing, gitu2, cari tau d webnya aja pasti ada da hehe), usaha apa yang telah lo lakukan buat mencari tau tentang Unilever, apa yang paling bikin lo tertarik bergabung dengan Unilever, and why should Unilever employ you. Yang terakhir ini pertanyaan yang cukup standard dan pasti lumayan sering ditemui job seeker. So, siapin jawaban yang 'unik', yang bener-bener nunjukkin kompetensi dan kelebihan lo, ga cuma jawaban yang bisa diomongin semua orang gitu. Gw bakal bahas ini lebih lanjut di tulisan berikutnya hehehe.. Selain pertanyaan tadi, gw juga disuruh bikin essay buat menjawab 3 pertanyaan ini: "Describe a time when you came up with an idea that required you to get the support of others", "Describe an occasion when you have had a big issue to solve and you needed help", dan " Describe a time when you spotted an opportunity and made it happen". Jawab pertanyaan kya gini biasanya pakai metode STAR (situation - task - action - result). Kl gatau, googling aja banyak koq yang ngebahas ini. Tapi dari Unilever sendiri udah dikasih sih pertanyaan2 buat ngebimbing lo bikin essay-nya hehe.. Tips dari gw, siapin dari jauh-jauh hari buat daftar ini, jangan mepet deadline karena harus bikin 4 short essays in total. Essay-nya ga usah panjang-panjang, yang penting menjawab pertanyaan dan jelas, concise, ga usah bertele-tele.

  2. Online Numerical and Logical Reasoning Tests
Unilever pakai Kenexa, lo bisa latian di sini www.psl.com/practice/. Latiannya mah biasa aja, tapi tes aslinya lumayan susah s buat gw. Pertama numerical reasoning test dulu, ada 15 soal kl ga salah, waktunya 20 menit. Gw sampe keringetan pas ngerjain, gw cukup panik karena itu pertama kalinya gw ngerjain tes gituan dan koq susah ya hahahaha, padahal gw lumayan pede gitu kl buat ginian. Gw ga jawab 2 soal, karena ga sempet. Tapi untungnya gw tetep lolos ke tahap berikutnya, which is logical reasoning test. Kl ga lolos yang numerical, tes yang logical ga akan nongol dan lo dinyatakan selesai. Untuk yang logical, gw kl ga salah ga jawab 1 soal. Gw lupa jumlah pasti soalnya, kyanya sih 24, waktunya 12 menit. Tips buat tahap ini, latian dulu to build your confidence, but still expect that the real tests are surely more difficult. Jangan panik pas ngerjain karena soalnya emang susah hahaha, fokus, jangan mikirin apapun selain menyelesaikan soal, kl ada yang ga bisa jangan buang waktu terlalu lama dengan soal itu. Siapin kalkulator, pensil, sama kertas buat jaga2. Tapi sebisa mungkin hindari menulis karena itu buang waktu. Trus berdoa dulu sebelum ngerjain :">

  3. Forum Group Discussion (FGD)
Setelah menyelesaikan online reasoning tests tadi, Unilever bakal ngabarin whether or not aplikasi lo msi di-review. Seminggu setelah tes itu, gw sempet di-email kl aplikasi gw masih dilanjutkan. Gw terima email kya gitu 2x, 3 April dan 13 April. Tanggal 15 April, barulah gw diundang FGD di Graha Unilever di Gatot Subroto Jakarta buat minggu depannya tanggal 22 April. Buat assist peserta FGD, ada semacam online chat gitu dimana lo bisa nanya2 langsung ke Unilever, "it’s just that we would like to give you opportunity to get to know us in Unilever Indonesia thus you can come to the FGD prepared" katanya. Gw ga bisa ikut pas waktu yang ditentukan, tapi ga masalah sih, ga ngaruh apa2 koq ke aplikasi gw. Yang bikin kaget, sore sebelum FGD gw tetiba dikirimin form yang harus gw isi malem itu juga. Jeng-jeng. Sebenernya form itu bukan buat FGD-nya sih, tapi buat bahan interview berikutnya. Tapi ya ikutin kata dy aja deh haha.. Alhasil malem itu gw bergelut di depan laptop mikirin pengalaman hidup gw buat jawab pertanyaan ini: "Indicate what events and experiences you consider to have particularly influenced your personal development (turning points in your life)". Ga usah panjang2, gw cuma 1 paragraf tiap event. Ini kesempatan buat menunjukkan bahwa diri lo adaptable, bisa survive menghadapi hal sulit, dan bisa mengambil pelajaran dari setiap pengalaman hidup yang ga enak.

Tibalah hari FGD. Gw berangkat jam 3.45 pagi naik Cititrans. Dari poolnya, gw naik taxi sekitar 20rb ke Graha Unilever. Gw pilih travel ini karena itu yang paling pagi, gw jadwal FGD-nya jam 8 soalnya. Sampe di sana, nunggu di lobby bareng kandidat lain. Surprisingly, they're not intimidating to me. Malah gw ngrasa cocok sama mereka, nyambung aja gitu ngobrolnya. Jam 8, HR-nya jemput kita buat naik ke lantai berapa gitu haha, dikasih penjelasan dulu tentang tes hari itu dan tentunya dikasih breakfast morning riser-nya KFC hihii..

FGD-nya ada 2 sesi, sesi pertama kya exercise gitu. Studi kasusnya umum, waktu itu gw dapet tentang channel tv. Dikasih waktu buat baca secara individu dulu, baru diskusi. Satu group ada 8 orang, dari berbagai jurusan. Pas itu gw 1 group sama anak UGM, Unpar, SGU, sama UNSW (impor nih haha).. Dari sesi pertama, mulai keliatan karakter orang-orang pas diskusi. Ada yang banyak ngomong tapi ga relevan, ada yang solutif, ada yang berusaha ngikutin tp jadinya pas ngomong malah bagian yang ga bener2 berpengaruh sama solusi, ada yang pinter cari waktu ngomong pas pentingnya aja. Dari sini bisa kira2 nih orang mana yang musti diperhatikan serius. Sesi kedua baru FGD sesungguhnya yang di-asses sama seorang manager dan 2 HR. Dikasih problem yang intinya gimana me-manage pabrik biar bisa meningkatkan kapasitas, dikasih juga data2 yang relevan. Tugasnya adalah ngasih solusi long term, medium term, dan short term. Pas FGD ini juga dikasih 1 kertas kosong per orang yang juga masuk penilaian, jadi sebisa mungkin tunjukkin kl lo bisa berpikir secara sistematis dan lo punya ide yang akan lo kemukakan, ga cuma ngikut2 doang. Total waktu sesi kedua 35 ato 40 menit gitu. Selama FGD, assessor diem. Abis itu istirahat, sementara assessornya diskusi.

Nah, di tahap ini bisa ada interview tambahan. Orang yang dipanggil interview berarti belom bener2 'keliatan' karakternya pas FGD, atau assessornya masih ragu jadi mau mengenal lebih jauh gitu. Kebetulan gw dipanggil interview, katanya pas FGD gw kurang menunjukkan diri gw yang tertulis di resume gw. Bapaknya nanya kenapa gw ga terlalu banyak ngomong kya 1 orang di group gw gitu, trus gw bilang aja karena fokus gw adalah menyelesaikan tugas yang diberikan secara tim, bukan menonjolkan diri untuk memamerkan kepintaran gw. Dari group gw ada 1 lagi yang dipanggil, dari group sebelah juga ada 2 yang di-interview. Yang di-interview belum tentu lolos dan yang ga di-interview belum tentu ga lolos. Dari 4 orang yang di-interview itu, 1 ga lolos.

Oiiya, dari sini keliatan banget kl Unilever bener2 ketat dalam menyeleksi kandidat UFLP. Yang lolos ke FGD cuma 4 group sepengetahuan gw, berarti cuma 32 orang. Bersyukurlah kalian yang lolos sampai ke tahap ini dan bener2 siapkan diri kalian to give your best performance. Ini buat yang Supply Chain aja sih, kl yang function lain seleksinya mungkin bisa beda ya, soalnya HR yang ngurus beda, waktunya juga ga sama.

  4. Assessment Day
Katanya dalam seminggu bakal dikabarin hasil FGD-nya, tapi 2 hari kemudian, tanggal 23 April, gw udah di-email diundang ke final stage-nya, assessment day, yang diadakan minggu depannya tanggal 30 April. Seneng banget pas tau lolos ke sini :") Cuma 14 orang yang lolos sampai ke tahap ini, 3 di antaranya Teknik Kimia ITB hehe.. Memang semuanya high quality people, ada yang juara 1 IECOM (lomba TI-nya ITB), ada yang mapres, dan eng ing eng ada yang Presiden KM ITB hahahaha.. The pressure is on!

Assessment day ini seharian dari jam 8 pagi sampe sore jam 3an gitu. Gw berangkat dari Bandung jam 4 pagi naik Xtrans yang poolnya di Hotel Kartika Chandra, bener2 di sebelah Graha Unilever haha.. Ada 3 proses dalam assessment day, yaitu business case presentation, interview, and another FGD. Pertama, di tahap business case presentation, masing-masing dikasih booklet studi kasus yang isinya berlembar-lembar data, yang entah relevan ato ga sama main task-nya. Task-nya dijelasin di halaman awal jadi pastikan kl lo bener2 ngerti apa yang harus lo presentasikan nanti. Dikasih waktu 1 jam kl ga salah buat baca dan siapin presentasi (dikasih kertas gede banget buat presentasi pake flipchart) selama 20 menit. Di sini, lo harus bener2 pinter memahami masalah dan memilah2 data karena banyak banget email, memo, grafik, yang dikasih dan ga semuanya directly related with your task. Jangan menghabiskan waktu buat baca hal2 ga penting dan ga informatif, harus bisa skimming. Fokus sama task yang dikasih dan buat keputusan yang tegas, tentunya dengan disertai data2 yang bisa support your decision. Pas presentasi, kyanya assessornya ga baca bookletnya, jadi make sure that you're in the same page. Pastikan mereka ngerti permasalahannya dan apa solusi yang lo tawarkan. Di akhir, mereka nanya gw, seberapa yakin gw akan solusi gw. Sayangnya gw ga bisa bilang yakin 100% karena honestly, that case was kinda overwhelming for me, I wasn't sure of anything ihiks.. Temen gw yg lolos pas ditanya itu dy bilang yakin 100% based on data and his calculations. 

Proses kedua adalah interview dengan calon bos, salah satu manager bagian supply chain kyanya. Ada juga 1 orang HR. Interview-nya kira-kira 1 jam. Pertanyaannya seputar resume dan juga technical hahahaha.. Gw ditanya tentang boiler dan distilasi. Oiiya pas interview yang pertama gw juga ditanya tentang nama IUPAC C12 dan tentang margarin. Margarin terbuat dari apa? Buahahahaha.. Hancur bangetlah itu gw ga bisa jawab sama sekali haha.. Mungkin pas itu gw masih lolos karena gw berusaha mikir dulu ga langsung nyerah bilang gatau. Untungnya pas interview yang ini gw masih bisa jawab hahaha.. Jawabnya pede aja deh pokoknya, tapi jangan ngasal juga haha, yahh pokoknya siap2 ditanyain technical questions. Yang gw inget gw ditanya: tell me about yourself, what do you want to achieve/be in the next 5 years, pengalaman organisasi, why join Unilever, masalah ga kl d pabrik harus memimpin cowo2 semua.

Proses ketiga, FGD lagi. Kl yang ini lebih mirip debate karena lo harus milih mau berpihak sama yang mana. Intinya adalah memilih perusahaan yang mau diakuisisi. Sebenernya katanya tujuan FGD ini buat memastikan lagi kandidat yang mereka anggap berprospek, bagaimana performance mereka dalam tim. Jadi dari 2 proses yang pertama, mereka udah punya bayangan siapa yang lolos. Rasanya sih yang paling menentukan hasil business case presentation. Yang lain figuran nih ihiks... :')

  5. Final Interview
Nah kl lolos assessment day, sorenya langsung dikabarin buat interview sama petingginya, orang India gitu, besoknya. Sayangnya gw ga lolos :')
Yang lolos sampai tahap ini, temen gw yang mapres tekim, presiden KM, sama anak UNSW. Sama satu lagi yang dulu ikut ULIP (internship-nya Unilever), tapi dy ga dapet akhirnya. Mereka bertiga ini memang super gitu sih, analytical thinking-nya bagus banget, they know how to present themselves and how to influence others, or at least make people listen and consider their thoughts. Malem abis interview mereka langsung ditelepon gitu dikabarin lolos hehe.. Mereka mulai kerja Juli 2014. Salary-nya mangstab, sekitar 10.

Overall, proses UFLP ini tergolong cepat dan menurut gw sih susah ya hahahaha.. One of the hardest selection processes I've gone through. Oiiya ini full English ya hehe.. Tips dari gw, siapin mental aja sih, karena sepanjang proses ga ada lagi yang bisa lo andalkan selain diri lo sendiri. Sama belajar mempresentasikan diri dengan baik hehehe.. :)

Kecewa sih ga dapet, tapi pengalamannya dapet banget. Karena di awal udah ngerasain proses yang sesusah ini, proses-proses di tempat lain jadi lebih tenang gitu hahaha :p

2. Unilever Assistant Research and Developmet Manager

Nah ga lolos UFLP, kandidat-kandidat yang udah sampai tahap assessment day biasanya bisa dapet vacancy lain, closrec gitu, langsung ke tahap interview user. Tanggal 22 Mei gw di-email ditawarin buat posisi Ass. R&D Manager. Temen gw dari tekim yang juga sampai assessment day juga dapet email. Minggu depannya tanggal 28 Mei langsung disuruh interview dengan 2 manager, dari proses dan dari packaging. Interview-nya based on CV, competency based gitu, full English. Kesalahan gw di sini adalah gw terlalu pede, kya yakin banget gitu bakal dapet posisi ini, tapi gw ga menyiapkan bukti-bukti buat mendukung pernyataan-pernyataan gw. Contohnya, gw ditanya kenapa mau posisi ini, gw bilang karena gw orangnya suka tantangan lalalala. Trus ditanya lagi, buktinya apa suka tantangan, apa hal paling menantang yang pernah kamu jalani, TRUS GW BLANK. Mikir lamaaa gitu, dari situ keliatanlah kl gw ga meyakinkan. Yaa sebenernya mah kl dipikir-pikir banyak, tapi kl ga disiapin, pasti bingung juga. Alhasil gw ngomong yang terpikir aja, emang kurang menantang sih yang gw sebutin, jadinya diserang terus gitu. Ihiks... Jangan ditiru ya :')

Dari sini gw belajar kl setiap omongan kita harus disertai bukti nyata. Sejak itu, gw selalu menyiapkan semacam script interview gitu. Gw simulasi, kira-kira ditanyain apa aja, trus kl gw jawab gini, dy bakal nanya apalagi. Ini berguna banget sih buat gw selama job seeking. It makes me feel fully prepared, jadi selain gw bisa jawab dengan pede, gw ga panik karena udah mengira-ngira pertanyaan interview-nya. This keeps my interviews under control gitu sih intinya hehe.. Soalnya dengan latian menyiapkan jawaban, gw jadi bisa milih apa yang mau gw omongin, ga spontan sembarangan gitu hehe..

Hasilnya, as expected gw ga lolos. Temen gw juga ga lolos sih, ga ngerti kenapa. Masih cups sih gw sama dy pas itu, blom terlatih dalam job seeking haha :') Dengan ini, gw officially dadah Unilever, 2x ketolak hahaha.. Mungkin ga jodoh di sini juga ya..

3. Astra Insurance MT Program

Gw dapet vacancy ini dari temen. Di jobstreet juga ada sih. Job seeker wajib banget deh punya account di jobstreet, bisa liat gaji buahahaha.. Setelah ngirim CV, gw di-sms disuruh psikotes dan FGD di Gedung Asuransi Astra di Jakarta Selatan. Yayy deket rumah! Cuma 20 menit hahahaha, gw pikir enak banget kl dapet kerja beneran di sini hihii.. Tesnya seharian dari jam 8 sampai 4 sore, bahasa Indonesia. Pas dateng disuruh ngisi form dulu, semacam resume gitu, ditanyain juga expected salary sama posisi yang dimau. Karena gw anak teknik jadi daftarnya bagian risk management. Sisanya gw ga ngerti hahahaha.. Gw jujur pas di-sms ngerasa males banget, kya gw udah proses di Unilever sampai nyaris2 dapet gitu, tapi harus ngulang tes dari awal, bersaing lagi sama sejuta umat, apalagi pas gw liat absensinya ada 70 orang gt hahahaha, tapi yang dateng paling 30an gitu sih.. Tapi ya udah deh gw jalanin aja, namanya juga job seeking ga bisa diem doang di rumah menunggu kerjaan turun dari langit..

Abis ngisi form, mobilisasi ke ruang tes. Trus dijelasin dulu sekilas tentang program MT ini dan benefit2 yang bakal didapet dengan menjadi karyawan Astra. Yang paling menarik sih bisa beli mobil dengan harga super miring, yang sebagian disubsidi perusahaan. Kapan lagi brooooo!! Trus kl masuk program ini, ada kemungkinan lo jadi kepala cabang di usia belia, tapi tentu saja cabangnya di daerah hahaha.. Katanya ada kepala cabang Manado ato mana gitu umurnya baru 24 tahun. Jadi yang ambis dan ga masalah ditempatin di daerah gitu silakan daftar hehe..

1. Psikotes
Tahap pertama adalah psikotes. Sama persis kya psikotesnya Paragon (Wardah). Gw dulu sempet iseng2 ikut tes Paragon di kampus sih hehe.. Psikotesnya lengkap, pake buku yang kecil2 itu, ada numerical, ngelanjutin gambar, pilih gambar yang sama (kl ga salah, duh lupa deh), pokoknya psikotes standard deh haha, sampai ada gambar orang dan gambar pohon juga hehe.. Oiiya ada Kraepelin juga ya hehe.. Ga gitu susah sih psikotesnya, tapi abis itu setengahnya gugur, tinggal 16 orang.

2. FGD
Tahap kedua, FGD. Di sini FGD-nya lucu gitu, seru sih kl menurut gw haha, milih orang yang diselamatkan pas bencana. Trus dijelasin dari awal kl ga ada moderator atau pemimpin gitu. Satu group 8 orang. Masing-masing orang dikasih kertas, trus ada 2 kolom kosong, 1 kolom diisi pilihan lo sendiri, kolom kedua diisi pilihan kelompok. Intinya sih yang diliat adalah keberjalanan diskusi, gimana lo menyampaikan pendapat lo dan meyakinkan orang kl jawaban lo lebih masuk akal dari yang lain. Sebenernya ga ada jawaban bener ato salah gitu sih, tapi kemampuan lo buat mempengaruhi orang lain diliat. Contohnya nih, tugasnya adalah memilih 6 dari 12 orang untuk diselamatkan dan untuk memulai peradaban baru di bumi. Di antara 12 orang itu, ada 2 orang tukang kayu, yang 1 udah tua, mantan pengedar obat terlarang, tapi handal. Yang 1 lagi masih muda dan belum berpengalaman. Nah, kita cuma bisa pilih salah satu aja kan, tapi dua2nya kontroversial hahaha.. Waktu itu gw pilih yang udah tua, karena dia handal dan untuk membangun peradaban kita butuh kemampuannya. Tapi perlu dipertimbangkan juga bahwa untuk membangun peradaban kita butuh anak, jadi sebaiknya cari yang muda biar bisa reproduksi beberapa kali. Yahh pokoknya dalam FGD ini jangan terlalu ngotot sama pendapat, kemampuan buat menerima pendapat orang lain yang lebih masuk akal juga penting.

Setelah FGD, gw disuruh melanjutkan tes kepribadian, yang ada 250 soal kl ga salah. Yahh silakan diisi sesuai kepribadian lo. Kl ada yang ragu waktu itu sih gw pilih yang menurut gw sesuai dengan kriteria yang dicari sama Astra hahaha.. Abis itu, pihak psikolognya minta waktu 1 hari, nanti yang lolos aja yang dikabarin.

Besoknya gw super dag dig dug, gw kira paling lambat siang gitulahh udah dikabarin. Trus udah sore, gw tanya temen gw dy juga ga dikabarin. Udah kecewa banget rasanya padahal gw merasa I did everything right gitu koq masih gagal juga, gw musti gimana lagi ihiks... 

Udah sedih2 gitu, eh jam 6 kurang gw ditelpon sama Bu Eka, psikolog yang kemarin mengawasi group gw, ternyata gw lolos puji Tuhan :") Gw disuruh interview sama beliau hari Senin depannya. Kyanya dari setiap group cuma diambil 1 gitu. Kenapa gw bisa lolos? Ini menurut gw yaaa, pertama, gw yang memulai diskusi, gw nanya ke yang lain gimana sebaiknya penyampaian masing-masing pendapat. Jadi ga langsung mengutarakan pendapat gw gitu. Kedua, gw mencatat pilihan semua orang dengan rapi di kertas gw. Kertas itu nantinya dikumpulin dan buat bahan penilaian juga. Flipchart juga disediain, rasanya lebih bagus pakai ini biar catetannya bisa diliat semua orang. Ketiga, mungkin karena gw yang inisiatif mulai diskusi, selama diskusi orang-orang melihat gw kl lagi ngomong. Menurut gw ini faktor yang lumayan penting ya, soalnya dari sini keliatan seberpengaruh apa sih lo gitu. Mungkin ini karena gw juga cukup sering (ga selalu) menanggapi pendapat orang lain, yahh seperlunya aja sih. Keempat, gw terlihat PD pas ngomong, walaupun ternyata di akhir si Ibu bilang kl jawaban akhir kelompok gw kurang tepat, gw bisa membuat jawaban gw terlihat 'benar' pas diskusi dan membuat kelompok gw memilih jawaban gw. Ga semuanya juga sih, kl emang ga ada satu pun yang mendukung jawaban gw, gw juga drop, ga ngotot hehe..

3. HR Interview
Interview-nya standard, ga susah. Pertanyaannya seputar kehidupan kuliah. Gw ditanya kenapa masuk tekim ITB, kenapa mau masuk Astra Insurance, kenapa ga oil n gas seperti temen2 gw pada umumnya, kelebihan, apa yang mau gw perbaiki dari diri gw, gimana gw bisa mendapatkan IP segitu, cara belajar, trus ga inget lagi hahaha.. Interview-nya ga gitu lama, 30-45 menit. Di akhir dipersilakan buat nanya, gw nanya menurut beliau apa sih hal paling penting yang harus dimiliki seseorang untuk menjadi pegawai yang baik. Katanya integritas. Dengan punya integritas, otomatis kita akan melakukan tugas2 kita dengan sebaik-baiknya dan usaha itu pasti akan terlihat oleh perusahaan (katanya ya hahaha).. Trus beliau juga cerita, kenapa Astra bisa sebesar sekarang, karena prinsip no status quo-nya, jadi Astra ga pernah puas dengan keadaan yang ada sekarang tapi terus berusaha meningkatkan kualitasnya. Trus katanya Astra lebih prefer evaluasi internal daripada 'mengiklankan' diri ke luar gitu, biar nanti orang yang melihat sendiri seperti apa Astra hehe..

Menurut gw the interview went pretty well, I enjoyed talking with Ms. Eka and I felt good after that. Unfortunately, seminggu kemudian gw di-sms bahwa gw ga lolos ihiks.. Mungkin gw emang bukan yang mereka cari.. Tapi bisa juga gara2 pas ditanya kenapa gw ga daftar oil n gas, gw ga bisa menjelaskan ketidakcocokan gw dengan bidang itu dengan jelas, kesannya jadi kya ya ga suka aja gitu with no good reason. It might leave a not really good impression ^ ^;;

Okay I think that's enough for now. I'll continue the story in the next writing, this one has became too long hahaha.. I hope this can be helpful especially for those who plan to apply UFLP and Astra Insurance MT Program :)

WHAT TO DO WHILE WAITING FOR THE RIGHT JOB?

Soooo, what to do while waiting for the right job?
I've googled some. One site mentions that I should make a list about things I want to do, including those that I've always wanted but never get a chance before. Here's what I end up with :D

1. Keep looking for vacancies .
The right one is out there somewhere and you'll never get it unless you APPLY, prepare your best, and kill it.
DO NOT GIVE UP!
Learn from every selection steps, notice your mistakes, figure how to fix them, n do even better.

2. Read books.
There are tons of great books, but you can only absorb what's in them if you read them.
Finish one before you start a new one
Make the list!
The power of habit, Paulo Coelho's books (aleph, the flowing river, the winner stands alone), Ajahn Brahm's second n third books, motivating books, self-help & self-improving books.
And oh don't forget to read the bible every day :)

3. Start writing?
I mean, you've always wanted to write but at the end nothing's written
You should be serious, see your sis? She's serious n she's doing it.
Don't lose.
Write about anything, about this maybe, about relationship, a story, anything! Just don't let your brain has a day off ;)

4. Read the news.
It's fucking important these days n ages.
You're an adult now, you should know about important n real stuffs.

5. Exersice!!
You don't want to look fat in front of your future employer right? Being in a good shape shows that you are living a healthy life and have a good self control.

6. Experiment with cooking.
Well looking at past experiences, I'd suggest you not to act too careless with the ingredients.
Try recipes in Indonesian books first, they give you clearer steps (try that one book).
Oh and don't make too much portion, if the taste isn't as good as you imagine, other people won't have to eat it hahaha..

7. Keep your brain working.
You can play educating games like sudoku, or strategic games, anything that keeps you thinking.
Never stop using your brains.
You might also want to review some fundamental lecture materials, especially before your job selection test.

8. Play the piano?
It's been so long you know.
N to make mum happy listening to it.
Find the chords for your favorite songs!
Don't stop halfway!
Remember practice makes perfect ;)

9. Give enough care n affection to your family n friends.
Catch up with old friends too!

10. Take a cooking lesson?

11. Learn how to drive, get a license

12. Watch great movies, inspiring ones too

13. Value your money!
You don't earn it yourself, n your parents should've stopped funding you by now.

14. Prepare to study abroad?
Don't forget about your dreams van, just because you can't go this year doesn't mean it's unachievable!

15. Keep updating this list n make a target for everything.
Don't slack of!
It's easy to be lazy but you totally can't ;)

BACK FOR REAL!! :D

Holla I'm TRULY back!! :D

Today, I am a fresh graduate from ITB majoring in Chemical Engineering, still looking for a decent job :')

I decided to start writing again, for real, this time haha.. 

Let me keep you updated with my current life :)

Now I'm back to my parents' house in Cinere. It's actually at the border between Depok and Jakarta so every time I'm asked about where I come from, I always answer Jakarta hahaha.. My life has never been in Depok anyway.. My old room has gone, invaded by my lil sis who is not willing even to share the room with me .__. I sleep in mum's room and my desk is placed 'temporarily' in the same room. Thank to mum for the idea n efforts. No one else would act, of course -__-

I already have someone in life, I mean someone I love who loves me back too. We're kinda in a relationship. We are, but there's no exact date as to when we started dating. Just happens. I am really glad that I've moved on from the darkness and that I'm living this healthy relationship in peace :D Sure, it's not always easy, there was a time when we got separated, I might talk about that later, but now we're already convinced with each other to take this seriously. I've known his parents, he's known mine. I've been to his home, he's been to mine. We're happy, and the most important thing of all, I don't feel addicted. I'm still striving to become an independent woman. I have my own life and he has his. My happiness is not his responsibility ;)

As I said before, I'm still looking for a decent job. I'll write for sure about my adventure in searching for the right job, the one God has planned for me, when I get it. Right now I'm still trying to look everywhere hahahaha..

I found a new hobby: COOKING! Hahahaha.. I am actually influenced by my best friends in college, Mario & Tia, they're good at it and I was just inspired hahaha.. I tried to make some, turned out I really enjoy doing that :D

Well, not everything is okay though.. Some bad things happened too. The highlight? Cynthia kinda ended our friendship. Said she couldn't stand of people moving forward while she's not. Said it wasn't my fault. And left. Just like that. Citra said she had been keeping distance with people around her, being super sensitive, and having shut down moments. I originally planned to send her an anonymous birthday cake, but Citra let it out before I explained everything to her. Cynthia shut down as expected. It wasn't really Citra's fault though. I'll still try to do that, with a change on the cake. I'm still thinking about the perfect thing that could be given at this moment :/
God, please bless her n watch over her. Strengthen her and guide her with every step she's taking. Please let her know that she's not alone and she's never should been alone...

Hmm, I think that's enough for catching up. I'll try my best not to disappear again this time hahaha.. See ya when I see ya! ;D

God bless :)

errr im back again?

this is actually my first time opening my blog after i got into college O_O

well, i saw my friend's blog and again, it somehow motivated me to write again. soooo, here i am :)

i hope i can really continue writing for a long period, college days sure are busy ~.~

recently, for a reason, i've been working together with this girl in my class. she talks a lot, but there's something about her that reminds me of myself. i didnt have the chance to really know her before, i guess this work helps us getting to know each other better (even though i cant say that we're that close now). but i do wanna get close to her, i dont know why myself, i just do.and i find it kinda weird. :/

uurrrgghhh..my stomach hurts...maag again..i actually intended to fast today..i drank a cup of coffee this morning and i think thats what stimulated the acid..i gave up at noon when i felt very dizzy and sick..but the pain in my stomach hasnt gone :(

im sorry love....i regret what i did :(

i finally told him everything.

but i dont feel relieved.

there's still something bugging me. i dont know what it is.

maybe because he becomes so down after that? im really really sorry.. i never meant to hurt you.. i never wanted to make you sad.. now after telling him, all thats left is guilt. :(

maybe this is all my fault.. because i didnt tell him something was still wrong for me.. because i broke my promise so many times until he hardly can trust me again now i guess.. because i kept thinking about myself.. im an idiot. a selfish clumsy idiot. i might lose him now :(

i was so full of myself.. i couldnt think of his feeling.. i felt i couldnt take it anymore and everything just came out, exploded from my mind. i didnt think anymore..

i reread the conversation. i could see that i kept blaming things on him, no matter what he said i just couldnt stop until i felt satisfied. i am really sorry.. i wasnt really sure either what i wanted.. i kept silent about how i felt but deep inside, i wanted him to know, to notice, that i wasnt okay. i really am selfish :(

at the end he apologized again. but thats not what i asked for. im sorry for making you say that again. i just wanted you to know how i felt and give me some good reasons. but i asked too much, i know. i will never speak like that again.

i said i couldnt meet him yet. i cant face him. what kind of expression should i put on my face when i see him? i dont know. i love him, really really love him. i dont want him to hate me but seems like all these times i do the opposite.

this happens every time. when i confessed what i felt ( the bad ones ), i would make him so down and sad. he would blame himself, and he would think that the only thing he did was making me sad. thats not true X( and then i would feel really guilty, and think that maybe i was the one who was wrong. maybe its just me. im oversensitive anyway. maybe all the unhappiness came from myself.. but i keep repeating my mistake over and over again. i broke my promise, apologized, said that i'd try to keep it next time, then broke it again, apologized, broke it again, apologized again. i always find any excuses to break the promise.

forgive me baby..

i promise myself now, that i will not do the same mistake again, and i will keep my promise with you.

i swear.

so please, dont be mad, dont be sad, i love you, believe in me again?

completely absorbed by sadness...

have you ever felt that you're sad, and no matter what the person who caused it say, you're still sad. thats what happens to me now.

well, here's the story.

once upon a time, my girl friend, my boyfriend, and i had to go to another city to complete a task from a college we're going into. me n my bf went with my friend, just call her 'N', and her parents because there's no one who could take us. at first, we arranged to meet at 12 in a hospital, because we had to take a medical check up result ( its one of the documents that the college asked for ). beside that, we also had to bring the receipt for our payment.

well, the problem arose when i found out that apparently, my dad hadnt paid for me -__- *sighs* i had reminded him everyday! on that day, i reminded him at 9 in the morning, "dad, you have to pay today. i will leave at 12." he said "okay". but nothing happened. one hour later, i reminded him again. "dad, pay now." he said "okay". but he didnt move at all! finally he went to the bank at 11.30. "great, i will definitely be late" i thought. and i was.

at 12 he came home so i could bring the receipt. i went straight to the hospital, but i was already late. on the way, my bf called me, he said that N's dad was angry because i was late, and he told me to ask my other friend who's also going to the city if we could go with him. i thought N's dad already went home. i was shocked, i felt really guilty. then i sent my other friend a text message asking if he had already left or not. few minutes later, my bf called me again, asking for my friend's answer. i said he hadnt reply yet. my bf then got kinda mad at me. well, i was at fault, i should have called, not just sent a text message. to make up for my mistake, i called my friend. he said he had to ask his parents first. and i was like "okaaayy.."

i arrived at 12.30. when i met them, N still smiled at me and said that it was okay, her dad getting angry was usual. i apologized. then i found out that her dad hadnt left, so we could go with him. i ran to take my med check up result and go to N's car. but my bf didnt say a word to me. at all. i thought "oh, maybe there's no chance to talk, maybe in the car.."

BUT.in the car, he chose to sit next to N, instead of me. so n was in the middle of us and i found it awkward. but they didnt think so. during the trip, for more than 2 hours, my bf didnt talk to me at all, totally ignoring me. i was like "wtf." i was sad and in a total bad mood because my dad ruined everything. but he didnt seem to care at all and just ignored me like that! if he didnt talk with N either, i could accept it. but he talked to N a lot of time!! he acted like i wasnt there!! and all the way to the city i just kept silent, sent messages to my best friend so he could cheer me up and stop me for crying, and stared at the clouds while holding my tears back.

my bf didnt realize that he made that mistake until i started to act cold toward him......

:( :( :(

at night, i told him about it. but he said "i was acting like usual, you're the one who was paranoid."

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!so even in a normal circumstance he would have a nice chit chat with N instead of me, his gf, who's in a bad condition, and totally ignore me??man, who's your gf, me or her???

*sighs*

i was not jealous, i just didnt get it.

i was so so sad, it hurt so fucking much :'(

i began to cry, asking myself how he could be that cruel to me, why he did that to me :'(

he finally apologized, i didnt know if its because he didnt want to see me crying or because he really felt that he was wrong. he said he's sorry because he didnt understand me. i doubted that.

what hurt more, my mom who realized something was wrong said this to me "im afraid that he's just manipulating you. he could go to the college ( a nice one, indeed ) because he studied with you. if he didnt, he couldnt have made it."

hearing it from my own mother really hurt... and i can still feel the pain even now.. :(

time can not heal wounds, at least not mine..

starting to get serious writing this blog

Well, suddenly i have some kind of motivation or something to take care of this blog which i have abandoned since the day i made it -_-;; This motivation came when i saw my friend's blog and i've got a feeling that i wanna do this too. Sooo, here i am, at 2.52 AM, sitting in front of my bro's laptop n writing this blog.

Today ( when i say today,i mean the day before ) wasnt such a good day. Since the time i opened my eyes in the morning i didnt feel so good. Im in a bad mood all day. I was angry at almost everyone! N in the night i got stressed. I had to drink 3 cups of caffeine to reduce my stress. What's the cause of this bad feeling? I want to know too.

First possibility: i've got so much to take care of, so lil time.

Maybe its all my own fault too, i wasted too much time. I remember my teacher, Ms. (or Mrs. i dunno) Endah, said that there are several things that will not come back or be repeated. The first one is age. You'll never be 17 again when you have passed it. Second, is time. Today is one day, and tomorrow is already another day, wont be the same day babe. I forgot about the rest or maybe she hadnt mentioned them yet. What i can learn from her explanation is, do your best everytime, everyday, so you wont regret anything you have done in the future. But its kinda hard for me to do, 'cause i have a lazy personality and i always think there's still tomorrow. I told myself not to regret my past but, realize it or not, i ended up regretting my too-relaxed attitude almost everytime. I tried to change it. Well, still trying. Havent got any luck with it though.

Second possibility: my cellphone's error.

Internet is my life. N so is my cellphone. So, everytime there's something not right about one of them, even the smallest thing, i get upset.

Third possibility: im just crazy.

This one sounds very true right now 'cause when i think about it, i find myself being oversensitive and just unreasonable. The fact that i have a boyfriend who i hope is my soulmate and my last love, doesnt help. Actually it makes me even worse in facing things. For example, when he didnt reply my messages or when we didnt meet for 10 days, i became so melancholy about everything. There's one time when he's so busy and didnt have much time for me, i got stress and i cried all night. I just couldnt control my tears. They just fell off without caring me want it or not. I didnt sleep that night eventhough i was really tired after my basketball practise. N tonight im likely doing the same thing, but this time it wasnt because of him.

Im so sick of myself that i even have no idea how he can love me that way. Its like i dont deserve his love. N i try to make him happy but i feel that i only become a burden for him or something. Sometimes it makes me frustrated. 

Now, im supposed to be working on my Biology's task. N today ill have a Physics test. Man, im just a bad student.

Today i will have to do many things. This weeks gonna be busy. N he'll go. Oh God, please bless us.